The family structure is sacred to a nation, that its people should be orderly and care for one another. Without the stability of the family structure, society would fall apart and people would behave like animals. But what is the structure that holds everything together, and upon what foundation is it built? G-d Created man in His "Image;" therefore we are His children, in the same way that people are the children of their parents. And G-d Cares for us, Providing for our needs and Directing us towards success, just as parents love their children and want them to succeed and lead good lives; since they are their children--their value in life and the fulfillment of their existence.

The relationship between parents and their children is the same as that of G-d and mankind. When the sanctity of this relationship breaks down, families fall apart, society degenerates, and humanity becomes corrupt. For just as people would rebel against G-d and children would rebel against their parents, so would G-d Abhor mankind and parents would detest their wicked children. And if parents abhor their own blood, created in their image, and children attack their parents, who gave them life and cared for them, then certainly people would not care for each other and humanity would behave corruptly.

Honor your father and mother: "Honor your father and mother, so that your days will be lengthened upon the Land that Hashem, your G-d, Gives you." (Exodus 20:12). "...and so that it will be good for you, upon the Land that Hashem, your Judge, Gives you." (Deuteronomy 5:16). "'Accursed is one who degrades his father or mother.' And the entire people shall say, 'Amen.'" (Deuteronomy 27:16).

Death for cursing parent: "One who curses his father or mother shall surely be put to death." (Exodus 21:17). "You shall sanctify yourselves and you will be Holy, for I Am Hashem, your Judge. You shall observe My Decrees and perform them--I Am Hashem, Who Sanctifies you. For any man who will curse his father or mother shall be put to death; his father or his mother he has cursed, his blood is upon himself." (Leviticus 20:7-9). To curse a person is to wish harm upon him, thus thinking evil against him and expressing your evil intention. Today people curse too freely, so they think it has become a small matter. But for a person to curse his father or mother is an extremely serious matter. If it is done unintentionally, as a slip of the tongue, then it is a sign of stupidity and a matter for severe rebuke. But if it is done with intention, that a person should be against his parent, then he should die just as a Lawless person who rebels against G-d and the Rule of G-d should be killed--for such people would bring a curse upon Israel.

Kill rebellious son: "If a man will have a wayward and rebellious son, who does not hearken to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother, and they discipline him, but he does not hearken to them; then his father and mother shall grasp him and take him out to the elders of his city and to the gate of that place. They shall say to the elders of his city, 'This son of ours is wayward and rebellious; he does not hearken to our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' All the men of his city shall pelt him with stones and he shall die; and you shall remove the evil from your midst; and all Israel shall hear and they shall fear." (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). If a child is so bad to his parents, that they should want to see him die, then surely he deserves to die.

Death for hitting parent: "One who strikes his father or mother shall surely be put to death." If one who curses his father or mother with evil intent should die, then surely one who attacks and "strikes his father or mother," should be put to death. If it is done by accident and without intent then this is a different matter. But if a person should attack his parent, as one would strike his fellow with guile, then even if his parent survives, the attacker should die. This is a most serious crime, and even after the assailant is killed, it leaves a scar upon the nation--that a man of Israel should dare to attack his parent. Such a thought must be cleansed from the nation, that its memory should not remain amongst us--for if such a thing is done in Israel, then surely it would be a curse upon us.

Marriage

Man and woman were Made for each other; to fulfill one another. Therefore a man takes a wife and they become one flesh; to become a family. If a man will seduce a woman only for sex, then he violates her and betrays his seed; since their offspring would be cursed because of this deed. If a man takes a woman only to use her and they lie together only for pleasure, then this will end for them in pain--for both would have degraded their soul, to be used merely as flesh... But marriage is redeeming, for it sanctifies the relationship.

In marriage a man gains honor, becoming a husband and a father. He's no longer a wandering child and a lonely bachelor, for he has a wife and in her is his confidence. And the woman is no longer seen as a girl and a piece of meat, for she becomes a wife and a mother, and in her is the respect of the household. It is in this that children gain their value and succeed their parents--for they become their own household and raise their own family.

You shall not commit adultery: "...you shall not commit adultery..." (Exodus 20:13). "A man who will commit adultery with a man's wife, who will commit adultery with his fellow's wife; the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death." (Leviticus 20:10). "If a man will be found lying with a woman who is married to a husband, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman and the woman; and you shall remove the evil from Israel." (Deuteronomy 22:22). Adultery is a capital crime, for it is an offense against the sanctity of marriage, the honor of the family, and the foundation of Israel. A society that tolerates adultery, will degenerate in filth.

The wayward wife: "Hashem Spoke to Moses, Saying, 'Speak to the children of Israel and say to them: Any man whose wife shall go astray and commit treachery against him; and a man could have lain with her carnally, but it was hidden from the eyes of her husband, and she became secluded and could have been defiled--but there was no witness against her--and she had not been forced; and a spirit of jealousy had passed over him and he had warned his wife, and she had become defiled, or a spirit of jealousy had passed over him and he had warned his wife and she had not become defiled. The man shall bring his wife to the Kohen and he shall bring her offering for her, a tenth-ephah of barley flour; he shall not pour oil over it and shall not put frankincense upon it, for it is a meal-offering of jealousies, a meal-offering of remembrance, a reminder of iniquity.

"'The Kohen shall bring her near and have her stand before Hashem. The Kohen shall take sacred water in an earthenware vessel, and the Kohen shall take from the earth that is on the floor of the Tabernacle and put it in the water. The Kohen shall have the woman stand before Hashem and uncover the woman's head, and upon her palms he shall put the meal-offering of remembrance--it is a meal-offering of jealousies, and in the hand of the Kohen shall be the bitter waters that cause curse.

"The Kohen shall adjure her and say to the woman, 'If a man has not lain with you, and you have not strayed in defilement with someone other than your husband, then be proven innocent of these bitter waters that cause curse. But if you have strayed with someone other than your husband, and if you have become defiled, and a man other than your husband has lain with you--!' The Kohen shall adjure the woman with the oath of the curse, and the Kohen shall say to the woman, 'May Hashem Render you as a curse and as an oath amid your people, when Hashem Causes your thigh to collapse and your stomach to distend. These waters that cause curse shall enter your innards to cause stomach to distend and thigh to collapse!' And the woman shall respond, 'Amen, amen.' The Kohen shall inscribe these curses on a scroll and erase it into the bitter waters. When he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter waters that cause curse, then the waters that cause curse shall come into her for bitterness.

"'The Kohen shall take the meal-offering of jealousies from the hand of the woman; he shall wave the meal-offering before Hashem, and he shall offer it on the Altar. The Kohen shall scoop up from the meal-offering its remembrance and cause it to go up in smoke on the Altar; after which he shall cause the woman to drink the water. He shall cause her to drink the water, and it shall be that if she had become defiled and had committed treachery against her husband, the waters that cause curse shall come into her for bitterness, and her stomach shall be distended and her thigh shall collapse, and the woman shall become a curse amid her people. But if the woman had not become defiled, and she is pure, then she will be proven innocent and she shall bear seed.

"'This is the Law of the jealousies, when a woman shall go astray with someone other than her husband and become defiled; or of a man over whom passes a spirit of jealousy and he warns his wife, and he causes his wife to stand before Hashem, then the Kohen shall carry out for her this entire Law. The man will be innocent of iniquity, but the woman shall bear her iniquity.'" (Numbers 5:11-31).

This ritual can be deemed superstitious, for it involves curse and symbolic ceremony, but you'll see that it's very practical. If a woman strays from her husband and could have committed adultery, but it is not known, and her husband becomes jealous and refuses to accept her, then what else can be done? You would have the woman testify in court, before G-d! But since her punishment is death, she might be tempted to lie. Therefore, she will stand before Hashem, and the Testimony of G-d will Pass over her. If she has sinned, then she will bear her iniquity and G-d Will Pass Judgement. But if she is innocent, then she has a clear conscious and a pure heart--her husband will accept her and she shall bear his seed.

Defamation of a wife: "If a man marries a wife, and comes to her and hates her, and he makes a wanton accusation against her, spreading a bad name against her, and he said, 'I married this woman, and I came near to her and I did not find signs of virginity on her.' Then the father of the girl and her mother should take and bring proofs of the girl's virginity to the elders of the city, to the gate. The father of the girl should say to the elders, 'I gave my daughter to this man as a wife, and he hated her. Now, behold! he made a wanton accusation against her, saying, 'I did not find signs of virginity on your daughter'--but these are the signs of virginity of my daughter!' And they should spread out the sheet before the elders of the city. The elders of the city shall take that man and punish him. And they shall fine him one hundred silver [shekels] and give them to the father of the girl, for he had issued a slander against a virgin of Israel, and she shall remain with him as a wife; he cannot divorce her all his days." (Deuteronomy 22:13-19).

It is a sin for a man to slander his wife, the respect of his household, and spread a bad name against her. If you marry a woman and then despise her, then it is your fault, not hers--for you took her from her father. If a man will hate his wife, then he should divorce her, and not spread a bad name against her--for he would ruin her reputation. On normal terms, she would leave him with all the rights of a divorcee, for he had betrayed her and breached the vows of marriage--thus he is responsible for her and for her well-being. But if he hates her and defames her name, then he will be punished and "cannot divorce her all his days." A man cannot take a virgin of Israel, to defile her and then send her away, even daring to bear false witness against her. A person who does such a thing is indebted to the father, to the girl, and to the respect of their household. He must clear their name and pay them a fine for his sin; that he should serve them, and undo his wrongs.

Adultery of betrothed girl: "...But if this matter was true--signs of virginity were not found on the girl--then they shall take the girl to the entrance of her father's house and the people of her city shall pelt her with stones and she shall die, for she had committed an outrage in Israel, to commit adultery in her father's house, and you shall remove the evil from your midst." (Deuteronomy 22:20-21). But clearly this doesn't apply to a divorcee or a widow. "If there will be a virgin girl who is betrothed to a man, and a man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall take them both to the gate of that city and pelt them with stones and they shall die: the girl because of the fact that she did not cry out in the city, and the man because of the fact that he afflicted the wife of his fellow; and you shall remove the evil from your midst." (Deuteronomy 22:23-24).

In the past a father would give his daughter to a man as a betrothal, so that she would leave her father when she was old enough to get married--and the state of betrothal was considered like that of marriage. Today, however, people will not be enslaved, nor will daughters be sold or forced into marriage. A girl is not a wife until she is married and concedes to the terms of marriage. Until then, it is not possible for her to commit adultery--since she is not married. When a man takes a woman as his wife, he must become familiar with her history or accept her as she is. Although, according to the Torah, a man who lies with a willing virgin will marry her, unless her father forbids it; that the virgins of Israel should not be profaned. Therefore, such a relationship would be considered like marriage, that the girl should not go with another man when she is to be married, by the consequence of her actions. This way the virgins of Israel will not be defiled, for a man will marry the woman he takes, and both would not concede to the relationship unless they are willing to get married...

Polygamy and Divorce

The Torah does not ban polygamy. In fact, the Laws are based upon a society where polygamy and slavery are allowed. There will be no slavery in Israel, and a woman will not be forced to marry. However, polygamy will be allowed, although not encouraged, for matters of fertility and to prevent harlotry. Rather than defile a virgin of Israel, a man will marry the girl and preserve her sanctity. He need not see this as a burden upon himself, for he can take another wife in addition to her. But let the men not be arrogant, for a wife has her rights, and most women want a husband who is devoted only to them. If a married man should seduce and thus defile a virgin of Israel, then this is a form of rape that must be righted in marriage, if her father permits it. Whether or not her father consents, and whether or not the married man and the virgin are married, the man's wife has a right to leave him upon the basis of this action. For if he marries or if he lies with another woman, then his wife might feel betrayed--therefore she has a right to divorce him because of this, and still retain the rights of a divorcee.

Or if a man should seduce a divorced woman or a widow, and he is already married--then this can be seen as harlotry. A nation cannot live in Uprightness, while its fathers and husbands commit perversion and are led in filth. For this, a woman would be allowed to leave her husband and retain the full rights of a divorcee. But if a married man should take in addition to his wife, to marry a divorced woman or a widow, then this is acceptable, for the woman is redeemed in marriage. Nonetheless, his wife would retain the rights of a divorcee, should she disapprove. You might say this is a desecration of marriage, that a husband can take another woman and his wife can leave him freely--that the vows of marriage should be so easily retracted--but you'll soon understand the complexities involved in this matter...

Rights of a wife and polygamy: "If a man will sell his daughter as a bondswoman, she shall not leave like the leave-taking of the slaves. If she is displeasing in the eyes of her master, who should have designated her for himself, he shall assist in her redemption; he shall not have the power to sell her to a strange man, for he had betrayed her. If he had designated her for his son, he shall deal with her according to the rights of the young women. If he shall take another in addition to her, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital relationship. If he does not perform these three for her, she will leave free of charge, without payment." (Exodus 21:7-11).

In the past women didn't have much a choice, as they were forced into marriage--but people will no longer be enslaved. Since most women would not marry a married man, most men will not be polygamous. But if a husband would take another wife, then this might be against the will of his wife--and she would be forced into a relationship that goes against her will. Therefore she is free to leave, while her husband will support her financially until she is remarried; although their children will remain with him, unless he is incapable of caring for them. However, if he would take another wife, and neglect his wife by diminishing her food, clothing, or marital relationship--thus depriving her of her rights as his wife--then she will leave him with the full rights of a divorcee, with her children, her possessions, and his financial support; for he had betrayed her. The same applies for a married man who would defile other women and not marry them--for he would betray the respect of his wife and shame her household.

Divorce and remarriage: "If a man marries a woman and lives with her, and it will be that she will not find favor in his eyes, for he found in her a matter of immorality, and he wrote her a bill of divorce and presented it into her hand, and sent her from his house, and she left his house and went and married another man, and the latter man hated her and wrote her a bill of divorce and presented it into her hand and sent her from his house, or the latter man who married her to himself will die--her first husband who divorced her shall not again take her to become his wife, after she had been defiled, for it is an abomination before Hashem. You shall not bring sin upon the Land that Hashem, your Judge, Gives you as an inheritance." (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

It is Forbidden to pervert the sanctity of marriage, by breaking its vows this way. You get married for good, not to change your mind and play games, as if you hadn't been married. Otherwise a man would defile a woman, marry her, and then send her away from him--to disgrace her. If a man decides he doesn't like his wife anymore, after he had married her and took her from her father or redeemed her as his wife--then he is at fault. He is responsible for her, and she will leave with the full rights of a divorcee. If in fact she behaved immorally, then she will be judged according to her actions and will suffer according to her behavior, when the court decides the terms of her divorce. Yet since her husband had defiled her, he cannot marry her again--after what he had done to her, by breaking the vows of marriage.

The same applies to the wife. A woman cannot divorce her husband because she doesn't like him anymore, for this is a desecration of marriage. If she would leave this way, she will leave the same way she came in; only with her own possessions; without her children and without any rights. But if her husband would severely shame her, betray her, or harm her in any way, then her husband is at fault, and she will leave with the rights of a divorcee--according to the judgement of judges, by the Laws of G-d.

Abortion

The Laws and the structure of marriage are such, that abortion should not be necessary. Only when people break the Laws of G-d, does abortion become an issue--that a child should not be born as a result of rape, adultery, Forbidden relations, and harlotry. But a married woman should never abort the children of her husband, for she would be spilling her own blood and destroying her own family. Let her be Blessed with many children and let her husband be proud. For this, G-d Will Provide for them--when Israel lives according to His Laws.

The Structure of Family

Vows and Oaths: "Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the children of Israel, saying: This is the thing that Hashem Has Commanded: If a man takes a vow to Hashem or swears an oath to establish a prohibition upon himself, he shall not desecrate his word; according to whatever comes from his mouth shall he do.

"But if a woman will take a vow to Hashem or establish a prohibition in her father's home in her youth; and her father heard of her vow or the prohibition that she established upon herself, and her father was silent about her, then all her vows shall stand, and any prohibition that she established upon herself shall stand. But if her father restrained her on the day of his hearing, all her vows or prohibitions that she established upon herself shall not stand; and Hashem will Forgive her, for her father had restrained her.

"If she shall be married to a man and her vows were upon her, or an utterance of her lips by which she had prohibited something upon herself, and her husband heard, and on the day of his hearing he was silent about her--then her vows shall stand and her prohibition that she established upon herself shall stand. But if on the day of her husband's hearing he shall restrain her and he shall revoke the vow that is upon her or the utterance of her lips by which she had prohibited something upon herself--then Hashem will Forgive her.

"The vow of a widow or a divorcee--anything she had prohibited upon herself--shall remain upon her. But if she vowed in her husband's home, or she established a prohibition upon herself through an oath, and her husband heard about it and was silent about her--he did not restrain her--then all her vows shall stand and any prohibition she established upon herself shall stand. But if her husband shall revoke them on the day of his hearing, anything that came out of her mouth regarding her oaths or the prohibition upon herself shall not stand; her husband had revoked them and Hashem will Forgive her.

"Any vow and any oath-prohibition to cause personal affliction, her husband may let it stand and her husband may revoke it. If her husband shall be silent about her from day to day--he will have let stand all her vows; or all her prohibitions that are upon her, he will have let them stand, for he was silent about her on the day of his hearing. But if he shall revoke them after his having heard, he shall bear her iniquity. These are the Decrees that Hashem Commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between a father and his daughter in her youth, in her father's house." (Numbers 30:2-17).

A father has the final word with regards to his daughter, in her youth, as does a husband over his wife. The case of oaths and vows of prohibition or a promise to perform an act, are seen as an oath of G-d that cannot be desecrated. But if a father has the power to revoke the oath of his daughter, and a husband to revoke the oath of his wife, then it means they have the final say in the matter, and are the figure of authority in their household. Although, if they are silent over such a matter, only later to revoke them, then they will bear their iniquity... Authority comes with responsibility, and if a father causes his daughter to break a vow or a husband causes his wife to desecrate her word, after it was already accepted, then the father and the husband are responsible for the consequences. In the matter of a son in his youth, the same would apply only while he is a boy--for a man cannot desecrate his word.

Don't profane daughter: "Do not profane your daughter to make her a harlot, lest the Land become lewd, and the Land become filled with depravity." (Leviticus 19:29). Whatever a father might do to profane his daughter--that he should refuse to let her marry, disgrace her publicly, degrade her in her own eyes to cheapen her, use her as a possession for sale, or send her off helpless to fend for herself--it is a sin. A father should defend his daughter's honor, to sanctify her, that she should not be defiled--for his honor and the honor of his household is upon her.

Circumcise son: "...Hashem Appeared to Abram and Said to him, 'I Am El Shaddai; walk before Me and be perfect. I will set My Covenant between Me and you, and I Will Increase you most exceedingly... I Will Ratify My Covenant between Me and you and between your offspring after you, throughout their generations, as an Everlasting Covenant, to Be A Judge to you and to your offspring after you; and I Will Give you the whole Land of Canaan--as an everlasting possession; and I Shall Be A Judge to them.' G-d Said to Abraham, 'And as for you, you shall keep My Covenant--you and your offspring after you throughout their generations. This is My Covenant which you shall keep between Me and you and your offspring after you: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, and that shall be the sign of the Covenant between Me and you. At the age of eight days every male among you shall be circumcised, throughout your generations--he who is born in your household or purchased with money from any stranger who is not of your offspring. He who is born in your household or purchased with your money shall surely be circumcised. Thus, My Covenant shall be in your flesh for an Everlasting Covenant. An uncircumcised male who will not circumcise the flesh of his foreskin--that soul shall be cut off from its people; he has invalidated My Covenant.'" (Genesis 17:1-2,7-14).

Teach Laws to children: "You shall teach them [the Decrees of Torah] to your children to discuss them, while you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you retire and when you arise. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and upon your gates. In order to prolong your days and the days of your children upon the Land that Hashem Has Sworn to your forefathers to Give them, like the days of the heaven over the earth." (Deuteronomy 11:19-21).

Laws of Inheritance: "...And to the children of Israel you shall speak, saying: If a man will die and he has no son, you shall cause his inheritance to pass over to his daughter. If he has no daughter, you shall give his inheritance to his brothers. If he has no brothers, you shall give his inheritance to the brothers of his father. If there are no brothers of his father, you shall give his inheritance to his relative who is closest to him of his family, and he shall inherit it. This shall be for the children of Israel as a Decree of Justice, as Hashem Commanded Moses." (Numbers 27:8-11). This refers mostly to the ancestral heritage of land that was to remain in the family. A person can still write his own will, within these guidelines.

Firstborn's rights: "If a man will have two wives, one beloved and one hated, and they bear him sons, the beloved one and the hated one, and the firstborn son is the hated one's; then it shall be that on the day that he causes his sons to inherit whatever will be his, he cannot give the right of the firstborn to the son of the beloved one ahead of the son of the hated one, the firstborn. Rather, he must recognize the firstborn, the son of the hated one, to give him the double portion in all that is found with him; for he is his initial vigor, to him is the right of the firstborn." (Deuteronomy 21:15-17).

Levirate marriage: "When brothers dwell together and one of them dies, and he has no child, the wife of the deceased shall not marry outside to a strange man; her brother-in-law shall come to her, and take her to himself as a wife, and perform levirate marriage. It shall be that the firstborn--if she can bear--shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, so that his name not be blotted out from Israel. But if the man will not wish to marry his sister-in-law, then his sister-in-law shall ascend to the gate, to the elders, and she shall say, 'My brother-in-law refuses to establish a name for his brother in Israel, he did not consent to perform levirate marriage with me.' Then the elders of his city shall summon him and speak to him, and he shall stand and say, 'I do not wish to marry her.' Then his sister-in-law shall approach him before the eyes of the elders; she shall remove his shoe from on his foot and spit before him; she shall speak up and say, 'So is done to the man who will not build the house of his brother.' Then his name shall be proclaimed in Israel, 'The house of the one whose shoe was removed!'" (Deuteronomy 25:5-10).

According to the Law, the brother would inherit his deceased brother's ancestral heritage. Otherwise, the wife would pass their family's ancestral heritage outside of the family. This would leave his sister-in-law empty handed, while his brother's name would be blotted out from Israel--to his own benefit. For him to refuse to provide his brother with an heir, would be motivated by selfish reasons. However, in any other circumstance, this is Forbidden--"The nakedness of your brother's wife you shall not uncover; it is your brother's shame." (Leviticus 18:16). "A man who shall take his brother's wife, it is loathsome; he will have uncovered his brother's shame, they shall be childless." (Leviticus 20:21). And this does not refer to adultery, for that is punishable by death. A man cannot take his deceased brother's wife... And since families are no longer given an ancestral heritage in Israel, a person's name is no longer attached to his plot of land. If a man would take his sister-in-law as a wife, after his brother has died childless, he would be taking all that's left of his brother for himself, while uncovering his brother's shame. This will not be allowed...